Save A Prayer
by sass angel
Summary: I am of the opinion that Buffy should chase Spike for awhile. I make it happen.
1. Default Chapter

Spoilers: Up to the morning scene in Smashed, but the stuff with Willow and Dawn never happened.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nuff said 

Author's notes- This is dedicated to Scott for the countless hours he spent in IM  with me going over this idea. Also to Kim my awesome beta who I learned so much from. And because she loves Jinx as much as I do

There was an audible click as a thin plastic card was swiped through the doors locking mechanism. Gently ,so as not to awaken the sleeping girl inside, Riley eased open the heavy metal door.  Searching the dim inner recesses of the cell he found her curled up on the small metal cot she had been assigned. Easing quietly through the room he sat down in the chair beside her bed.  Watching  the tiny sleeping figure he reached out  and smoothed her long black hair off her  small pale face. She whimpered slightly and he pulled his hand back as if burned. 

He had come to this room a lot in the last few days. Riley had spent literally hours watching this girl . She ignored him just like she did every one who had passed in and out to inspect her, but he was sure she  knew he was there. Every once in a while  he caught a glimmer of recognition , that she knew it had been him that had saved her. 

He almost hadn't been there in time. There had only been seconds before a soldier, high on the adrenaline of the raid, brought the bayonet down across her neck.  The thought that a few more seconds and this girl would be dead was something that would haunt Riley for a long time.

It had been a normal mission, well as normal as was possible when the job was the  extermination of demon cults. The government  had received information that a new powerful lord had set up shop in the caves under Santa Cruz.  It was  simple get in, kill anything that moved, get out. The formula had always worked before but this time somebody had been expecting them and planned accordingly.  Somebody or something had trained the almost 400 hostiles gathered to fight in the army's uniform battle technique . It should have been a slaughter, if it had been any other company it would have been. But this particular band of soldiers were Riley's and he didn't rely on the armies textbook anymore. His time in Sunny Dale  had taught the importance of adaptability and he had made sure his men knew how to roll with the punches. It had still been close. The only thing that had saved the soldiers was the demons inability to stray from their training.

Riley remembered the  fury radiating through him as he stood in the almost palace like main room of the caves surrounded by the broken and dying bodies of  at least 100 hostiles and a few soldiers. He hadn't found the leader yet, but he had a name now. A vamp ,hoping to spare his own life, had told him that someone named Jacob was the captain of this merry band. That wasn't the part that made him  angry, the fact that apparently this Jacob was human and had turned against his own kind was what really got to him. Traitors were not to be tolerated, and this man must have been in the army at some point to be able to train this filth . It had been that anger propelling him towards the back room at the shouts of his men. At the time he had thought they found the monster responsible for this mess, he hadn't honestly expected what he did find. 

He had rushed in  prepared to fight and was brought up short at the room he encountered. It was obviously a bedroom of some kind, complete with a huge bed and a wide array of candles. What had startled him was the obvious sameness to one he had seen before. It was an exact replica of a room he had never wanted to see again. Spike's bedroom. So caught up in the pain that name evoked he almost hadn't noticed the one glaring difference between Spike's crypt and this. The small naked figure of a woman chained by her wrists and ankles to the back wall. The first impression he remembered having was of how small and helpless she looked. The second was that if he didn't do something she was going to die.

The chair squeaked slightly as Riley shifted his weight, glancing quickly at the girl he checked to see if the sound had bothered her.  Reassured that she was still asleep, he picked up a clipboard off a nearby side table and started to fill in her departure information,  wondering how she  was going to react to her new accommodations.  The silent treatment really bothered him. He just knew there was more to this girl than the sullen creature she presented to the world. He could feel the fire of her personality brimming under the surface of  her cold façade. He reasoned that it was that hidden flame that  had governed his actions around her. He had seen the same kind of spirit in Buffy.  His superiors thought it was crazy, the way he protected and cared for her. They regarded her as a commodity, something to be used to their advantage when the time was right. But he hadn't been able to stomach the thought of releasing her to the cold clinical administering of the armies doctors, not after all she had been through. So he had taken it upon himself to care for her.

It had been him that cleaned the dried blood off her arms and legs and had sewn up the 3 inch cut on her forehead. He was the one who had held and comforted her while the doctors had subjected her to test after test. It was also him who had fought for her safety when those tests revealed her DNA was not completely human. 

The higher-ups had wanted her exterminated immediately, but Riley had convinced them that she could be useful later. When they caught up with, the as of yet elusive Jacob, she could give them an inside track on his weaknesses and strengths. Or at least that was his argument.  It didn't take a rocket scientist to guess at his real motivations regarding this girl, but the army very rarely involved human emotion in their tactile plans. She needed him . This time it was _his_ protection someone needed. He could save her,  like he never could have with Buffy.    

There was a slight scuffling noise behind him and Riley glanced up from his writings to regard the young soldier standing nervously by the door.

"It's time to move the pris……. I mean the girl, It's time to move the girl." 

 The young boy shifted awkwardly and Riley had to smile at his discomfort. More than one person had felt the sharpness of his tongue when it came to the perceived status of the girl, and this boy was at least trying not to piss him off. 

Taking pity, he dismissed the nervous soldier and set down his clipboard. He regarded the tiny body in front of him for the last time. He wasn't going to be the one to deliver her to her new home, he just wasn't ready to deal with all the drama that trip would produce. Knowing this would most likely be the last time he would see her Riley traced a finger across the small tattoo etched just below her throat. He had wondered on more than one occasion what the word stenciled in flowing script meant, **Jinx**. 

The shifting of the body he was touching had his gaze shooting up into a pair of bright green laughing eyes. Bolting up Riley watched the girl climb to her feet. He didn't know what shocked him more the amusement she was obviously feeling or that fact that she seemed to be talking to him. Shaking off the surprise, he watched her hand wave in front of his face. He had no idea what she had been saying.

"Hello. Anybody home?" the girl was staring at him with a healthy mix of laughter and disdain.

Riley could feel a grin curl up the corners of his mouth, it had been a long time since someone had joked with him. In fact the last person to treat him with anything other the strict respect demanded of his rank was the very person this girl was soon going to be meeting.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something"

The girl sighed and regarded him like he was  a tiny child in need of assistance. A tiny child she obviously had no patience with. 

" I _said _, where am I being moved to."

Still stunned that she was actually communicating Riley tripped over his next words.

" To the safe house."

"It's time to go to the ummm… safe house. I thought I told you all this yesterday."

He watched as she folded her arms over her chest and tried to restrain her temper.

"Really and yesterday when you were telling me this did the fact that my eyes were shut register at all. Well let's pretend that I was asleep for that whole conversation, which, oh wait a minute , I  was. "

Wincing slightly at the sarcastic tone in her voice, he sat back down in the chair. He was suddenly thankful for the more clinical conversation he participated in now. 

" I am taking you to an old friend, she will be able to help you recover and protect you until you can take care of yourself. "

"Protect me!!!" The sound of the girl screeching sent a shiver down his spine, it was like nails on a chalkboard.

" I don't need someone to protect me, sure I'm a little tired right now, but you would be too if you had been chained to a wall for 3 years. I'm fine and I don't need anyone trying  to protect me, just give me some cash and I will be on my way."

Riley had gone from shock straight to anger. After all he had done she was throwing his efforts back in his face. Throwing protocol out the window he grabbed her arms and yelled into her face.

"You are going," he ground out " As of this moment the only thing keeping your head attached to your neck is my assurances that you are a weak and helpless creature that needs constant supervision. The government wanted to lock you in a cell with countless other hostiles and leave you there to rot. But I convinced them to let you stay in a secured environment until you became useful. It took even more convincing to get your host to take you. I have stuck my neck out for you more times than I can count in the last few days, so if I say you are going then you are damn well going."

Riley watched the emotions flicker across the face of the girl he held. She was irate but he also caught the resignation pooling behind her eyes. She hated this and most likely him too but she knew she had no choice.

" Well since you put it that way, lead on, oh cappytan"

Riley released her arms and picked up the duffel bag of clothes he had found for her. Gesturing towards the door he lead her out into the bright lights of the hall. He hadn't been lying, it had taken a hell of a lot more to convince Buffy to take her than it had to convince the army to let her go. That had been an awkward conversation, one he planned to firmly bury in his past. The same place he had buried most memories of Buffy. He had tried, very effectively, to  obliterate her from his mind but every now and then she came back screaming to the front. They had tried, it was over. Some things were better left alone. From the tone of Buffy's voice on the phone, he knew she felt the same. He really hadn't been able to think of anyone else to send the girl too, and he had really tried. But in the end Buffy had been the only logical choice, she had the room to care for the girl and the strength to protect her.  

Now watching the girl trudging along beside him he wondered at the wisdom of that decision. Until a few minutes ago he hadn't questioned it, but in the face of this girls obviously  intolerable view of her situation, he didn't know if Buffy was going to be able to handle her.

As they reached the car and he settled her  into the seat he decided it was too late now. Leaning through the window he handed the directions to the private assigned to accompany her. Turning to the sullen passenger his gaze was again drawn to the tattoo on her chest. She must have been watching the direction his gaze was going because she answered his silent question.

Riley watched the car pull away with a sense of relief. He was very happy that the girl was going to be safe. He was also incredibly pleased that he wasn't Buffy, having to deal with her.  Turning back to the complex he decided to find a mission as far away as he could get and as soon as possible. The sound of her voice still echoed in his head when she had told him what Jinx meant. It wasn't some sick joke her captor had played on her like he originally thought,  It was her name. 


	2. 

Jinx's hands clenched the edge of her seat as she watched the drama unfolding before her. They were so close, just a few more feet and they would beat the two evil little trolls they were forced to compete against. Jinx could feel a sheen of sweat form on her body and her breath came in short harsh gasps as the seconds ticked down and the combatants of the race neared the finish line.

"Run, you fat son of a bitch…. RUN." She screamed at her favorites.  They were losing  and they had come so close to victory. Groaning in frustration she watched as the other team crossed the line first. Burying her head in her hands she rallied against the injustices of the world. The sound of Dawn's voice brought her crashing back to reality.

"Buffy is going to kick your ass if you wreck anything else with one of your flash floods."

Raising her head Jinx watched the cascade of water streaming down the sides of the TV obliterating the sight of the credits rolling on The Amazing Race. With a flick of her wrist the water stopped, leaving a puddle to form on the carpet and the sound of a steady drip as the TV dried. 

"That wasn't a flash flood, it was a minor storm front" she sniffed " And besides Drew and Kevin totally should have won that, I know those Guido's cheated"

" It's just a TV show" Dawn told her with all the natural wisdom of a 15 year old.

"It's just a TV show" Jinx mimicked "Why don't you make yourself useful and go get something to dry this up before your pain in the ass sister comes home"

She watched Dawn flounce up the stairs and scowled at the snotty voice drifting down to her.

" I'm telling her you said that"

"I'm telling,  I'm telling" Jinx's voice dripped with sarcasm. Every time she turned around that kid was skulking around behind her. She was positive Buffy had told Dawn to keep an eye on her. Which mostly ended up as Jinx being a free babysitter without the 15 year old knowing she had one. 

Jinx had been there almost a  week and between Buffy, her sister and her friends she was starting to wish the army had just killed her. The last 3 years of her life had certainly been no picnic, but at least she hadn't had to deal with a bunch of snot nosed, holier than thou, kids.  Settling back into the cushions of the couch, she turned her attention to the events of the latest chapter in her life. She had to admit it hadn't been ALL boring. 

…………………………….

They had all been at the Magic Box the night she arrived. Willow, Anya  Xander, Buffy and Dawn had been sitting at a big table surrounded by books discussing something they called a freeze monster. It was obvious they had been expecting a mild and weak person by the shock on their faces when she had stormed in swearing. The stupid troll in charge of her relocation had gotten lost at least 15 times en route, and her patience had reached it's peak somewhere around the second detour. Through some miracle he had finally stopped at a gas station , gotten directions and found the way to their destination. She was in the midst of informing him what an incompetent jack ass he was when they entered the shop. Noticing the attention she cut off her diatribe and transferred her ire to the slack jawed faces of the stores occupants.    

"What?" she sneered " You were expecting Mary Poppins?"

Crossing to  room she could feel their  curious stares as she parked herself in a chair and propped her feet up on a pile of books on the table. She may have to stay here for a while but she didn't have to like it. Glaring insolently at the turn her life had taken she proceeded to clean her finger nails and ignore the lot of them. Well she tried anyway, it was rather difficult to ignore a roomful of yipping people, trying to introduce themselves and ask a bunch of stupid questions she had no intention of answering. At least until Buffy dropped a computer printout of her test results on the table, the officer had given her before leaving. From that point on it was easy enough to ignore them because that was the general rule they were applying to her. Caught up in her inner sulk fest she almost didn't realize that the Anya chick was gesturing wildly at the papers and crowing over the fact that she had seen that particular DNA thread before. Sitting up in interest Jinx listened to the girl's explanation.

"I haven't seen one in centuries, these people don't have much call for a vengeance demon, they pretty much take care of their own problems, but there was one who wanted me to strip her husbands powers."  The girl informed the group with a vapid smile.

Jinx stared at her in shock, trying to comprehend what a vengeance demon was doing with these kids. Not to mention wondering what the hell Riley had gotten her into. Focusing on the girl Jinx decided to keep an open mind for the girls brief outline of her heritage.

"So you see about, I'm not sure of the actual time frame just that it was a really long time ago, this group of beings got themselves expelled from the higher plane for trying to stage a coo and take over. "

Jinx noticed Anya's  obvious excitement over being the center of attention. She was really getting into her explanation, waving her hands around and lowering her voice for enhanced drama. As far as Jinx was concerned it was a pathetic display of grandstanding. She could have done sooo much better.

"So The Powers That Be sent them all to earth in human form to die as  wretched mortals. But apparently they had some friends left up there who infused them with some of their former powers along with a whole anti-aging provision" 

Jinx watched the faces of the rest of the assembly, they ranged from shock to resignation. It was the boy who recovered first.

"What kind of powers are we talking here An'"

Jinx smirked at the question and turned her attention back Anya. This ought to be good.

"Well as far as I can remember the powers were separated between the men and the women. The men got to control fire and earth and the women got water and wind. Personally I think the men got the better deal."

Jinx did laugh at that comment, obviously the girl hadn't considered what a blessing it was to be able to put out a fire ball coming at you at 90 miles an hour. Realizing the noise was drawing their attention back to her, she returned to her nails.

"Oh yah, and they read minds too."

It was right about then that all hell broke loose. Apparently a little water damage didn't faze them but the thought of someone poking around in their precious little minds was a big problem. 

Somebody has something to hide, she sing songed to herself. 

She had already done a quick surface scan and could have told them that their stupid little secrets held no interest for her. Well maybe one mind was worth the effort, she amended. Buffy's mind seemed to be holding a wealth of info but she decided to hold off on an extensive mental probe until her strength was back up.

Tuning out the uproar her presence was causing she picked up one of the many books littering the table. Flipping through the pages she paused at the picture of a demon who enjoyed eating the spleens of his victims. Wondering again who the hell these kids were she felt the gaze of the youngest member of the group. Meeting the girls nervous eyes with a steady look, she gestured to the picture.

" I dated him, he was a stallion in bed"

…………………….      

Grinning at the memory of Dawn's disgusted look, Jinx rummaged through the pockets of her coat searching for her cigarettes. Finding them she lit up and took great satisfaction at the curls of smoke filling the room. Buffy hated it when she smoked in the house, with that in mind she had done so at every opportunity. 

The girl just pissed her off. She had everything a young woman could want friends,  good looks, a chosen profession but all she could do was whine about her lot in life.  Sure she had died a few times but Christ get over it. So men kept leaving her, big deal, she should try living 500 some odd years and them she could talk about men leaving her.  But no it was all 'I was in heaven, I don't feel alive anymore someone please save me from myself'  It was all a bunch of crap as far as Jinx was concerned. Buffy needed to grow up and move on or a good kick in the ass whichever came first. 

"It will probably be the kick in the ass" Jinx told the silent room

The fact that Buffy was a slayer had given her a moment of pause when discovered. At least that explained why Riley had thought she would be safe here. What Riley didn't know however was that a slayer's house was probably the worst place for her. Jacob hated slayers and if he found out she was staying with one heads were going to roll, namely Buffy's.  She didn't want to tell Buffy about Jacob, in fact she never wanted to think about him again. There was too much pain and disillusion down that road, but for the sake of her own safety she had too. She had only given Buffy the bare facts, that Jacob was the male equivalent to her and that he was her ex-boyfriend. She left out the details of what had made him go slightly insane and chain her to a wall for the better part of the last three years,  that was her business  and she didn't need a slayer's nose in it. Firmly steering her memories away from that painful subject Jinx heard Willow and Buffy enter the kitchen.

"Is she smoking again. I can smell smoke. Do you smell smoke Will?"

Jinx grinned the girl really made it too easy. Sitting up she waited for the anticipated lecture. Which didn't come, the witch was in lecture mode at the moment.

"Yes I smell smoke Buf, but that's not the issue right now. You need to go ask him if he knows anything about this Jacob guy.  Spike hangs around the clubs he might have heard something.  I don't get this whole stalling Buffy thing your doing. It's not like he's going to say no. But for the last week you've shot down any idea we have had with Spike in the subject line. We haven't gotten anywhere on our own, you need to go talk to him."

Jinx could hear the resolve in Willow's voice. 

'Yah Buffy'. Jinx quietly said to the empty room  "why won't you go talk to Spike, could it have something to do with the little house crashing party you two had last week that you would rather die…..again.. than tell your friends about"

Jinx had gotten around to a full scan of Buffy's mind about mid week and was still laughing her ass off at the contents. Little miss priss had more than a few skeletons in her closet. Well skeletons and one bad ass vampire, she quickly adjusted. Leaning over the edge of the couch she listened for Buffy's reply. She heard  the slamming of the door and Buffy's parting comment.

"Fine. I'm going. But he's not going to be any help. He's too busy getting drunk in those places to actually learn anything useful."

Jinx settled back on the couch now anticipating the return of the slayer. Picking up the remote she started  flipping through the channels. Things were about to get a whole hell of a lot more interesting around here. Grinning at the thought  she wondered how well Buffy was going to take the news that she wasn't the only one in the house who knew how much stamina Spike had in bed.


	3. 

The door to the Summers home ricocheted off the wall as it slammed open. Followed by a very pissed off slayer.

Dawn, Willow and Jinx looked up from their respective positions in the living room to watch Buffy storm up the stairs. Turning back to the door they saw a very agitated Spike bringing up the year.

"Buffy?"

"Pet?"

"It was years ago ,luv. Before you were even bloody born"

Buffy swung around at the top of the stairs. 

"I don't care if it was LAST night, you insensitive, egotistical…… over sexed…….  jerk. "

The occupants of the room jumped as the door to Buffy's room slammed shut. Spike laid his head against the railing.  For some reason his past just kept coming back to bite him in the ass.

Rolling his forehead to the side he picked out the face of his ex-girlfriend, she was laughing at him.

Spike groaned, this was so not what he needed right now. He was surprised Buffy hadn't staked him right there when she found out just how _well _ he knew her houseguest. She had just got that hurt look, the one that ripped at his heart, and stormed out. 

He just hadn't seen it coming when he had heard her voice at the top of the crypt.

…………………………

He knew she would come eventually it had only been a matter of time. Okay who was he kidding, he silently chastised himself. One more day Buffy free and he would have been breaking down her damn door. 

He had decided that if she made the first move he would make it easy on her. Turning the possibilities over in his mind he wondered if they should talk first or just get right to the shagging.

Shag first his body reminded him uncomfortably. Talking was highly overrated as a means of communication.

Pulling himself back from his musings he watched Buffy bounce from the bottom of the ladder to the floor of his bedroom. 

Here it comes. He thought. I finally have her where I want her.

Oookay she's pacing. Probably nervous, this is a big step. Maybe if I slide my hand down he….

"Ow!!!"

" Bloody Hell!!"

" What was that for?"

Spike clutched his nose and glared at the slayer.

"Keep your hands and…..and…..other body parts to yourself. I need you to look at some computer printouts."

Spike stared at her in disbelief.

A week. A whole soddin' week since their little house smashing number and she wanted to look at computer printouts. He was going to kill her. Yep. He was going to snap her pretty little neck. How in the hell could she walk in here like nothing had happened. Standing there all prim and proper like butter wouldn't melt. 

Well it bloody well did happen and if she thought for one second that he was going to just….

"Spike"

"Earth to Spike"

Glaring at her Spike picked up a corner of his blanket and mopped up his face with it. Resuming his previous position on the bed he picked up his book and tried to pretend she didn't exist.

It wasn't working. No matter how much, how hard, or how long he tried to deny the force that was Buffy it never worked. For all his big words she knew he would come running whenever she crooked her little finger. As much as he hated himself for it he knew he couldn't deny her anything she asked. There was some comfort in that, she needed him whether she liked it or not. 

Spike watched the girl silently wrestling her demons. There was no way the world was fair if it let such an unsurpassed  spirit feel so much pain. Mentally kicking himself for being such a poof he picked up the discarded papers.

And almost swallowed his tongue.

…………………………….

Pulling himself up Spike turned to face the curious stares of the assembly.

" 'Ello Jinx. Been a while"

 Spike watched Willow and Dawn's gazes  swing back and forth between them. It was Willow who overcame the shock first.

"You know each other"

Jinx smiled at the witch.

"Me and Spike go way back, kiddo."

Spike grinned at the sight of Willow's jaw somewhere down around her ankles. At least he could _some_ enjoyment out of this situation.

He eased himself down on the chair beside Willow, and afforded them his favorite smirk. 

The one that said 'Aren't I all sexy and manly'.  

Watching Jinx, he couldn't believe that she was here after all these years. She was still undeniably pretty.  Long thick black hair , intense green eyes and a 'fuck em if they can't take a joke' attitude. There had never been another woman quite like Jinx. He could still feel the tension between them, as strong as the day they had met. It was a no holds barred sexual tension, the really good kind. Smiling at the thought he let the memories of his time with Jinx wash over him.

Spike jumped at the hand on his arm, looking into Willow's worried gaze he realized that he had zoned out. Embarrassed he glanced up at Jinx, it was rather annoying to see that she had been reading his every thought and reliving the moments with him.

" Nasty trick, that one" he shot out at her. His embarrassment was magnified by the fact that she could tell how much she was affecting him. 

"Come on Spike, you used to love when I read your mind, especially when we were-"

"Bloody hell Jinx there are children present" Spike shifted his gaze to a fascinated Dawn.

"So you guys had sex, huh" the eager teen asked

"Come on Dawn, we are going to the kitchen to let Spike and Jinx…..ummm…..catch up" Willow grabbed the protesting girls arm and forced her out of the room.

Spike stared at every object in the room that wasn't Jinx. This was not his idea of fun. Screwing up his courage he decided that small talk was the only way to go.

"So how have you been?"

Spike was saved the inaneness of the conversation by a very pissed off Buffy stomping back down the stairs.  He watched as she came storming into the room and proceeded to pull Jinx off the couch and out the front door. He could hear the rage emanating from her voice on the way out.

"We are going to talk. NOW."

 He missed what Buffy  said next because she had lowered her voice but he heard Jinx's pissed off tones loud and clear. 

"What the hell is a Bronze?"

Spike felt a sinking sensation  in the pit of his stomach. He was fucked.


	4. 

Thanks that was fun

Don't forget no regrets

Except maybe one

Made a deal

Not to feel

God that was dumb

Everyone knows the deal fell through

I was hoping I could just blame you

When was it that I became so soft

This sentimentality doesn't look good on me

I thought that you would be begging to be with me

I'm the one on my knees 

Jinx poured the last drop of her gin and tonic down her throat and signaled the passing waiter for another one. Noticing the disapproving glare of her companion she asked him for a double. So far all they had done was sit and glare at each other. It was getting boring…fast.

Well at least she hasn't tried to beat me up, Jinx mused. But mind you even that would be more interesting than this. Deciding to push her luck Jinx spoke first.

"So are we going to stare at each other all night or are we going to get on with the business of what this little excursion is about."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean" Jinx had to hand it her, Buffy could put just the right amount of sarcasm in a phrase.

"You dragged me out here so you could get all the smutty little details of what went on between me and Spike."

"What….. I did not…… I came here to find out about Jacob…. If you hid the stuff about Spike then I know your hiding stuff about Jacob."

"Number one, sweet cheeks, I have told you all I'm going to tell you about me and Jacob. Number two, if you came down off your high horse for two seconds you would realize that I am the only one you can talk to about Spike honestly."

There, thought Jinx, let's see what she does with that one.

"Spike and honesty don't really go together. What happened was a mistake. A mistake I am trying to erase from my mind, and I don't appreciate you skipping around in my memories trying to dig up dirt."

"Oh, I see, so it doesn't bother you that I was the first person with a pulse he slept with. Doesn't affect you at all that I got there first."

"Your disgusting, I don't care what Spike did before…..or now for that matter. He could screw you in the middle of main street and I wouldn't care."

"Really is that a fact." Reaching across the table Jinx plucked her gin out the slayers hand. "Stick to your coke honey, your too young to drink." Smiling at the girls obvious discomfort despite her words Jinx decided to push the envelope.

"So if it doesn't bother you, and being as I'm in a nostalgic mood, how about we take a little trip down memory lane. It was the summer after Woodstock. I had a sweet deal going at a club in San Francisco, fleecing the locals out of their hard-earned cash through some exceptionally good cons on my part. I was in the process of taking a sweet young man's money at the pool tables when Spike walked in. Now I don't care who you are, that man has sex toy written all over him."

Jinx grinned, Buffy was in the process of shredding all the napkins on the table. This was too fun.

"I let him lead me into the back hall, he was probably planning on killing me but I had other ideas. Before he could even think about biting me I was on my knees and------Hey…. Watch it!"

Jinx glared at Buffy as she wiped the remains of coke off her face. The stupid twit had choked and spit it out all over her. Figuring that the finer points of the relationship were going to get her covered in bruises rather than just coke she gave Buffy the edited version.

"Moving on then. We spent two weeks together, shagging like bunnies. It was some of the best sex of my life. The end."

"What do you mean 'the end'. That's it. No promises of endless devotion blah blah blah. He dumped your ass, didn't he. Points to Spike for getting the hell away from you."

Okay this was getting to be a bit much, was there no end to the girls denial. It was as plain as the nose on her face that Buffy felt more than disgust for Spike. A whole lot more.

" Yes, he dumped me. Dru came back from whatever little excursion she had felt the need to be on. He gave me some long flowery speech but it essentially came down to he loved her, not me. Haven't you figured out by now that when Spike is in love nothing on earth will keep him from that person. Not even really…….really……good sex."

Jinx was saved another coke shower by the appearance of  the subject of this little discussion. She had been wondering how long it would take Spike to show up. She knew he didn't trust her alone with the object of his devotion for long. 

"Dance , luv." 

Jinx watched the determined vampire in front of her. He had obviously been there for a while, she could tell by the tension coiling through his body. He had heard every word they had said and now he was right pissed at his slayer. She could hear Buffy sputtering some crap about how she didn't want to dance and he should get lost. 

Jinx took the hand Spike was holding out to her. It was time to have a little fun.  Buffy wasn't going to know what hit her. Grinning at the stunned look on the slayers face as Spike led her towards the dance, she had to hold in the laughter at his parting comment to the girl.

"I wasn't talking to you slayer" 

……………………………………………….

They had danced about 10 songs in a row and Jinx was starting to wonder what Spike's plan was ,other than repeatedly stepping on her feet. She had tried to talk to him but his answers had been short at best. He was sulking and it was pissing her off. The Spike she had known would never have let a woman, much less a slayer get to him like this. It was damn disappointing. She  heard the first few notes of a slow song starting and decided enough was enough, if Spike wasn't going to do something, she was.  

Shifting her hips closer to him, Jinx molded herself against him. She watched Spikes eyebrow shoot up at her actions. Pulling his body into the sway of the music she leaned in to nibble on his neck. Moving slowly up the length she whispered softly in his ear.

"You want the girl. I'm going to get her for you. Just go with this."

Spike's reaction was immediate, she felt a hand sliding into her hair as   

the other one made a slow trip down her back. Pulling up for his neck she turned her face for his kiss.

Turning her attention away from the pleasant sensations his touch was invoking Jinx focused in on Buffy's mind and was delighted at the results.

 'She's kissing his neck! And he's letting her! What the…. She's got her hand on his as…..Wait a minute he's playing with her hair. She's giving him sexy look number 9. You bitch that's my look. No… No….No…He can't…… He won't…..YOU ASSHOLE…….'

 Moments later she pushed Spike away and walked back to the table the slayer had quickly vacated. Picking up her drink she faced the approaching vampire. 

"Give her a day or so to think about it. She's jealous, cause it sure as hell wasn't disgust that had her running out of here like the place was on fire."

Taking pity on a still unhappy Spike she took his hand.

"Come on handsome, I'll let you buy me a drink." 


	5. 

_Record and play, after years of endless rewind   
Yesterday wasn't half as tough as this time   
This time isn't Hell,   
Last time, I couldn't tell   
This mind wasn't well   
Next time, hope I'm...   
Going to be good, and I would -   
If I knew I was understood_

_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
_

Buffy shifted in her restraints, hoping a slight shift to the left would ease  the pressure on her wrists, it wasn't working. The complicated irony that was her life never failed to amaze her. She had been going along perfectly fine, taking one day at a time, easing back into things and now within 7 short little days she had slept with her mortal enemy, acquired a mind reading flood causing roommate, lost said mortal enemy to bitchy roommate and now she found herself chained to a cave wall by roommates psycho ex boyfriend. 

No it just didn't get any better than this. 

The fact that she found herself in this position was embarrassing at best. She had run out of the Bronze and had literally run right into Jacob.  He had held her up when she should have landed face down in the alley, and stroked her hair when she started crying on his shoulder. Buffy didn't know what she had been thinking when she agreed to go for coffee and a talk. Her only excuse was he had been so nice and seemed to understand her. 

"Yah Buffy, how many woman have been killed cause the guy understood her." she mocked

She had just wanted someone to pour all the pain out to. Watching Spike and Jinx had ripped  her apart. No matter how many ways she tried to deny her it, she felt something. She just didn't know what yet.

Jacob had been so sweet, telling her about his girlfriend leaving him and commiserating with her pain. The whole sweetness factor disappeared pretty quick though when she had mentioned Jinx's name. 

"Then it was just hit Buffy over the head and chain her to a wall time"

  It was even more humiliating to know that it wasn't her he wanted. How many times had she been the target for the big bad? How many times had she come charging in to rescue her friends in this position? She was the slayer, the chosen one, the defender of innocents, the bane of all evil existing in the world and now she was………… bait. This day was not doing much for her ego.

Focusing her attention back at the problem at hand her eyes searched the cave for captor. He was lying on a bed watching her reactions intently. Too bad he was obviously crazy because he was actually pretty sexy. 

Buffy gave herself a mental smack. What the hell was with her. Did she have a sign on her forehead that said if you are evil, psycho and gorgeous please apply within. 

She realized he was talking to her .

'Bad Buffy, pay attention to what the  man is saying not the color of his eyes.  Which were green, not that she cared'

He appeared to be  trying to figure something out. 

"I just don't get it" he said

"What?  Why your expelling all this effort to get back a demanding shrew like Jinx.  I know it's taxing on the imagination" Buffy jeered 

She never saw the fist coming. Rocking her back from the blow she had the inclination that she now knew how Spike felt. And the realization that pissing off a psycho path was not a good plan, when one was chained to a wall and couldn't defend ones self. 

" Don't ever let me hear you speak badly about her again. She is an angel. She's my angel."

Buffy was notably shocked, had she missed something. Wasn't this guy supposed to hate Jinx, he had kept her chained to a wall for Christ sake, not feeling the love there.

"I thought you didn't exactly like her, you know, with your history and stuff."

" I don't like Jinx, you little twit, I love Jinx. She is my reason for living.  I was devastated when I discovered she had been taken."

Buffy stared at the man.

"Okay, devastated, Have you actually met Jinx?"

She was a little more prepared for the strength of his punch this time. It still hurt like hell though. Spitting out a mouthful of blood she decided to choose her words  more carefully next time.

" You love her."

" I get that now"

" So why don't we just jog on over to my house, pick her up and you two lovebirds can head off into the sunset."

Buffy knew that wasn't the right approach but at the moment the idea of Jinx being gone was filling her with a whole lot of pleasure.

"That won't work. She has to come to me. That's the way it's always been. I wait and she comes to me. Don't you get it."

Buffy looked up at the manacles attached to her wrists, maybe there was something in this twisted little story that would get her out of here.

"Why don't you explain it to me"

Jacob sat down on the floor in front of her and leaned his head against her leg.

"We have been together for centuries, I have loved her almost as long as I have been alive. When your over 500 that means something you know."

At his pleading look for understanding Buffy nodded. At least she knew how old Jinx was now, the girl certainly hadn't been forthcoming about that little tidbit.

"Sure she would go off and have her little parties but she always came back to me. We were soul mates. No one could get in the way of that. Until she met HIM."

Buffy was surprised. She didn't know that amount of venom could be applied to a single word. She thanked her lucky stars that she wasn't the 'him' in this story.

"She never really came back from San Francisco. Oh sure her body did but her heart didn't. No, she left it there with some filthy vampire, who didn't even want her."

Buffy wasn't sure if the choking sound came from her throat or his.

"But I fixed it, I made sure she wouldn't leave me again. It took me years of planning but I fixed it so she couldn't leave me . She didn't understand that. She said I was keeping her a prisoner. But I wasn't, I was just making sure she had time to remember how much she loves me.  "

Buffy stared at the broken man sobbing in front of her. This was really sad. Once upon a time she had been a strong sweet caring man. Now he was just a sick twisted shell. This is what love does. This is what she needed to avoid at all costs. Not sure what to do, but hoping maybe a healthy dose of sympathy would get her out of here she tried that.

"It's okay, Everything will be okay. I'll talk to her and make her understand." she soothed

At the sound of the pity in her voice Jacob jumped angrily to his feet. 

"I don't need your help." He sneered " I will get her back and everything will be right again"

Okay Buffy no more playing nice with the bad man, whatever she had glimpsed for that moment was gone.  Now she was faced with a mad man who didn't care if she lived or died.

"I don't get what in  the hell Jinx was hoping to accomplish by shacking up with a slayer!"

Buffy could feel ice start to from in her veins at the way he had spat out 'slayer'. This wasn't the usual 'I hate the slayer for ruining my fun' kind of emotion. It wasn't even hate. This was disgust, pure and simple. Buffy felt like a bug that had crawled across his shoe and she wanted to know why.

"Not feeling the love here. What the hell is your problem? Is it slayers in general or me in particular? Cause , you're not exactly topping my buddy list either here."

Jacob looked at her like she had grown another head.

"What is my problem" he sputtered "Are you really that stupid"

Buffy stared at him blankly.

"What the hell have those watchers been teaching you?"

Where the hell had watchers come from, she wondered. There was something going on here and she hated not knowing the whole story. Glaring at him she decided to pay attention his ravings.  

"Does history mean nothing to you?"  his voice leaked scorn 

"Does this generation even care where they came from? The whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, you know."

He continued to bluster on about the moral degradation that was her age group but Buffy scarcely noticed. There was  only one  pertinent thing to her in his speech and she wanted some answers.

"What do you mean where I came from?"

Jacob stopped his tirade to regard her with shock.

"You honestly don't know do you. Those holier than thou peons never told you"

At the negative shake of Buffy's head he started to laugh.

"Oh this is too perfect, I wonder how many years it has been since they erased it."

 Composing himself he turned to face her.

" Jinx told you about us right, where we come from?"

 "Well did she tell you, that if it wasn't for us you wouldn't exist."

………………………..

Buffy wished she had the movement of her arms again, mostly to wipe the tears off her face. After dropping his bomb Jacob had taken off, muttering something about cappuccinos. She was glad he was gone she needed time to compose herself.

Her entire existence had been summed up in a few sick little sentences. Her purpose, her calling was just one big cosmic whoops. Her mind recoiled at the fact that she had been, for all intents and purposes, a mistake.

The plan was to create a being to fight off an evil The Powers That Be had sent to exterminate Jacob and Jinx's ancestors. The men had vetoed the idea, deciding they were strong enough. The women disagreed and did it anyway. But they screwed something up and instead of getting a whole new being they accidentally infused a human child with all the power. Realizing the mistake they found a rather slow man in a nearby village and sent the girl to him in hope that she would grow into her gift. Which she did, eventually, and was returned to fulfill her purpose.

"At least I know why the watchers council erased all this." Buffy sneered. "It wouldn't look too good in their journals to know the first watcher was actually the village idiot." 

She had tried to get more information out of Jacob. She begged him to tell her what happened to the girl. His comments still made Buffy cringe. 

"What do you mean what happened, the kid came back kicked some ass, end of story. In every generation blah blah blah. Basically honey, your just here to do our dirty work for us."

Turning towards the sound of scuffling coming back into the cave, she watched Jacob enter balancing two cups of cappuccino. Crossing the room he shoved a cup under face and asked if she thought there was enough foam.  Okay, maybe he wasn't all bad. Maybe it was a peace offering. Maybe he was going to let her go. 

"That's lots of foam, but how do you expect me to drink it." 

Buffy shook her wrists causing the chains to rattle loudly  

"It's not for you, slayer. It's for Jinx when she comes home"

Okay, scratch the whole not a bad guy thing. The man was completely deranged. If there was not going to be coffee in the immediate future then at least there could be some answers.

" So are you going to tell me what else happened? There's more. I know it."

'Enough!" he shouted 

" The history lesson ended about twenty minutes ago, weren't you paying attention"  Setting the remaining cup lovingly on a nearby table he gave it an affectionate pat and returned to stand in front of Buffy.

 " It's time you fulfill your purpose now, slayer."

" Namely to get me my Jinx back. Let's send her a little message shall we."

"You can't kill me, she'll never come if you kill me"

Buffy wasn't entirely sure about that but she was grasping at straws.

Jacob clucked his tongue at her.

"I'm not going to kill you, you silly child……Yet……I'm just going to make sure Jinx knows how to find me. Now relax this will only hurt for a second"

Buffy shrunk as far back against the wall as she could, waiting for a blow. She blinked in surprise when Jacob just placed his fingers on her temples. Sighing in relief she realized he was going to use her mind to send Jinx his message. Relaxing slightly she felt him enter her subconscious. 

"It isn't that bad actually, a little uncomfortable, a little painf…….."

Small fissures opened on the solid rock walls of the caves. The continuous vibrations of Buffy's agonized and tortured screams causing them to spread into wide cracks created small avalanches throughout the tunnel system. 


	6. 

Never made it as a wise man   
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'   
Tired of livin' like a blind man   
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feelin   
And this is how you remind me   
This is how you remind me   
Of what I really am__

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinx was drunk, very, very drunk.  She knew she was lying on Buffy's porch but she had no idea how she had gotten there. Blearily glancing around her eyes alighted on Spike. 

'Oh yah' she thought 'Spike. He took me to that Willy place'

She vaguely recalled something about kittens but it was kinda fuzzy.

"Fuzzy…..kittens……get it" Jinx giggled and congratulated herself on her excellent sense of humor. At least she was happy  anyway, Spike looked miserable. She sifted through her inebriated memories trying to figure out why. 

'There was dancing and then there was kissing and then there was more drinking. Something had happened in between that though, what was it. Oh yes, Buffy. Buffy was mad and upset. The girl took things way to personally. It's not like Spike really wanted me. He was just trying to piss her off. Worked pretty damn good too. But now he's all moody.'

  Rolling over onto her side Jinx regarded the sullen vampire.

"Come on Spike, she's just a little pissed, it's good for her, make her realize what she's missing out on. She's probably in her room right now listening to some annoying boy band, drowning her sorrows in chocolate "

Jinx hadn't realized he had moved until his faces was a inch from hers and he had her arms in vise grip.

"She's not home, you stupid git" he ground out "She hasn't been home. She has been missing for hours and I don't know where she is. If anything has happened to her….." Spike let the comment trail away but Jinx knew what he meant, if anything had happened he would blame himself.

"Nothing is going to happen to her. She's a slayer for Christ sake. She's just off pouting somewhere. God Spike get a gri.."

Jinx never got to finish her sentence, instead she was forced to her knees but a excruciating vice of pure pain wrapping itself around her head. Visions came shooting at her from all directions. Buffy chained and screaming, Jacob holding her head in his hands crushing her skull, blood pouring from Buffy's eyes as the pressure kept increasing. Underneath the visions was Jacobs message, telling her to hurry and come to him because the slayer wasn't going to be able to survive much longer.  

Jinx sat up digging the heels of her hands into her eyes. The pain was still there but Jacob had eased it enough to let her move. Thankfully that meant he had lessened the pressure on Buffy too. She vaguely registered that Spike was shaking her shoulders and screaming at her. Pushing past the pain she tried to comprehend what he was saying. 

He was asking something about Buffy and she belatedly realized that she had been screaming Buffy's name when the vision hit. Jinx had only one comment for that….. FUCK.

………………………………….

"NO!!!" Jinx screamed into Spikes face

"There is no way in hell I am going to put myself back in that man's hands to save your girlfriend"

"Actually they're just friends……sort of"  Willow interjected

Jinx rounded on her with a fury born of fear.

"That's right, Red, they're just friends. And they were just friends when they fucking like bunnies last week. Are you people really that blind or just that stupid?  I knew they had had sex without reading their minds. All that gave me was the details."

If possible the young witches face went even more pale than it already was. Jinx could see her trying to pin Spike to the spot with her eyes. Which just pissed her off more.

"He's not going to tell you shit, Willow. He won't break his secret little Buffy confidence. If he does she might not let him in again. He is so pathetically in love with her he'll do anything she asks just for a tiny little grain of hope that she'll let him get back between her precious thighs."

Jinx was prepared for the blow, she knew she deserved it, but she hadn't expected the source. Holding the side of her face she stared at Willow in shock. She was receiving the full impact of a Willow resolve face and the power of the witch beneath. It was a frightening combination  and she honestly hadn't thought the girl had it in her.

Willows eyes were turning black and she was almost screaming at Jinx.

"He may have ulterior motives but he will protect Buffy with his life, just like any of us would. If saving her means sacrificing you that's what is going to happen."

……………………………….

Jinx still wasn't sure what had happened one minute she was screaming bloody murder that there was no way in hell she was going to help them. The next minute she was standing outside the entrance to the tunnel systems debating whether to go left or right. Of course it could have had something to do with Spike informing her that a dead Jinx could be surrendered to Jacob just as easily as a live one. Persuasive arguer that one. Jinx was seriously bemoaning the fact that her capabilities  were still nowhere close  to their normal strength and that all she had to back her up was a lovesick  vampire and a witch on a power trip.  They were going  to get their asses kicked.

It didn't take long to find the entrance to the tunnel. Her link with Jacob grew stronger the closer they got to him. Pausing outside the opening, Willow grabbed her arm.

"What's the plan" the redhead asked

Jinx caught the laugh in time. Not really the best time to be asking now is it little one. Cursing the lot that was her life and her name she told her.

"We go in, you distract Jacob, I hit him from behind, Spike gets Buffy"

Turning back the entrance Jinx started in, only to be stopped by Willow again.

"That's it! That's the plan!"

Jinx had had just about enough of this shit. This was their idea in the first place.

"Have you got a better idea?"

Willow  started sputtering something about books and scoobies. 

"Right then"

It was Spike, who had been decidedly silent up until now, who made the decision for them.

Taking the girls wrists in each hand he dragged them the last few steps remaining and into the cave.

They never stood a chance. 


	7. 

_Would you dance  
    
    if I asked you to dance?  
    
    Would you run  
    
    and never look back?  
    
    Would you cry  
    
    if you saw me crying?  
    
    And would you save my soul, tonight?_
    
    _______________________________________________________________________________________  
    
      
    
    ___

Spike stared at the roof of the cave trying to assimilate what had happened. It had felt like seconds but it might have been minutes. For the sake of his ego he would say minutes. After all they hype of Jacob he had really expected more.

'An earthquake, a soddin earthquake. Fireworks and levitation, all that rot sure, but a simple little rock shower. How bloody embarrassing.'

Sitting up he tried to survey the damage. Willow was lying unconscious a few feet from the opening they had come through. It looked like she was half buried under a slab of what had once been the roof. Jinx was gone, or at least she wasn't anywhere that he could see her. Growling Spike jumped to his feet.

'That bitch! When I find her I am going to rip out her throat and drag her broken body back here by the hair.'

 He had to get Jinx back in order to get Buffy back. This was his fault. If he hadn't been trying to get a reaction out of her this never would have happened. He had just wanted her to admit she felt something for him, even if it was jealousy. A crumb, that's all he ever asked her for.  It seemed that was all she thought he was entitled to. She had given him her body but the part he craved , her heart, was locked up as far away from his as it could get. 

"What did you think, you bloody poof? A little snog with an ex was going to have her falling in your arms."

Shaking  his head Spike looked for some kind of exit. He had to find Jinx and he had to rescue Buffy.  He had to tell her he was sorry for getting her into this. And then he had to get the hell out of her life.    

Searching through the wall of rock that seemed to encompass him all sides he came across Willow again. Feeling a bit guilty for pretty much forgetting her presence there and realizing that she might have a magic way to get them out of there. He crouched down beside her and eased her limp torso into his arms.

"Hey Red!" Spike shook the body of Buffy's best friend. She was still breathing but he was pretty sure her legs were broken.

"Time to wake up now pet, things to do"

He watched as Willow's eyes squinted open. She stared at him with a glassy look filled with pain.

"Spike……What…….Where's Buffy…….Did we get her…….Why is my head in your lap?"

Spike had to grin at her. She really was quite cute , well once you got her away from the scoobies.

"I don't know where Buffy is, pet. Jinx bolted and I need your magic mojo to find a way out of here, so I can go get her."

"I must be dying. You called me pet."

"Your not dying. Your legs are broke but your not dying. And I call everyone pet. Now if I was calling you luv…."

Spike trailed off. This was not the time to get into a vernacular debate. 

Besides Willow had seemed to dismiss the subject and was searching the cave for something. 

"There are no openings, I checked. We are sealed up tight pe…"

Willow grinned at the slip.

"I wasn't looking for openings, well I was, just not the usual kind. I was trying to figure out where that guy took Jinx out of"

Spike dropped Willow.

"Bloody hell!"

"You mean she didn't run off with her tail between her legs"

"Now I am going to have to rethink the whole killing her thing, and I was kinda looking forward to that"

Willow levered her upper body off the floor, wincing at being unceremoniously dumped there, again.

"You were knocked out, and can I just say, not a shining moment for the big bad when a human outlasts you in stamina. Anyway, that guy came in and took her. He kinda just poofed open a wall and walked right in"

Spike slammed his head against the brick.

"Of course. Earth. I am such a wanker. He controls earth"

"How do you know that" Willow questioned "I mean I know you, well ,_know _Jinx in that icky not going to go there way, but how do you know Jacob."

" I don't know him personally, Red. I just know about his peoples abilities"

"How? There was nothing in the books and when I called Giles he had never heard of them. What do you know?"

Spike sat down next the confused witch.

" It's like this, about a million years ago. Some idiot in the other plane needed to fix up some mistakes. You heard the whole kicked out of heaven story from Jinx right."

At willow's nod he continued

"Well her ancestors were the mistakes. So anyway, this paragon of free thinking, made with the magic and created a being that could take out the traitors. "

Willow was starting to look a little green so he figured he had better get to the point.

"These beings were strong, fast and deadly. Course they didn't have a soul mucking up the works. It was really to bloomin bad about that nasty aversion to sunlight. You think they could have worked on that."

Grinning at the flabbergasted witch he reached over and pushed her jaw shut. His amusement doubled when she started to stutter.

" So… what …..what your saying is vampires aren't evil. They are actually some kind of ……….heavenly warrior"

Her voice dropped to a minor decibel on the last words. 

" We are too evil!!" Spike shot out. Imagine, the idea that vamps were some fluffy bunny type, time to set her straight.

"For the record don't put heaven and vamps in the same sentence. That was the plan, that wasn't the result. Fortunately, for me, my kind never did take to well to being given orders. They pretty much just killed whatever happened to cross their path. And having been doing quite well at it all these years, I might add."

Spike was starting to get antsy under Willow's steady gaze. 

"And you know all this how, Spike?"

"It's in the manual"

"You have a manual! Why didn't you tell us. Buffy could have used that"

"Don't get your knickers in a knot, we don't have a bleedin manual. Jinx told me."

"Speakin of…."

Spike glanced at the impenetrable walls then back at Willow. She _was_ a witch wasn't she.

Rounding on Willow he grabbed her arms.

"Can you do that? The poofy wall thing"

"We…Well I can try. I mean I don't have my books or anything but…."

"Just do it Red, Buffy needs us and this time I am not going to fail her"


	8. 

Buffy watched the sick play being performed for the amusement of a psychopath. She craned her neck to the side trying to get a better view of Jinx who was now chained beside her. She looked like shit.

Buffy had heard the outer cave collapse and was shocked the girl had survived the force of the blast. Jacob had brought her in about 20 minutes before ,unconscious, prattling on and on about Jinx's stupidity for thinking she could fight him. He hadn't wasted time chaining her up next to Buffy or injecting her with a tranquilizer even though she was still knocked out.

"At least she gets to be drugged for this." Buffy contemplated jealously.

Everything about Jinx pissed her off. The sad part was it wasn't even Jinx's fault. She was just being herself. She didn't really care what people thought. She just did what felt good, what felt right. Something Buffy could never seem to do. Buffy was always worried about what her friends would think. 

Jinx was starting to wake up and was moaning softly beside her.

"Would you shut the mental musings off, your giving me a headache"

Buffy's mouth dropped open in shock. Jinx had been asleep she couldn't have heard what Buffy was thinking. Could she.

"Yes, I can hear you, and if you think for one second I am going to let you indulge in that little ass kicking party you have planned for me you are sadly mistaken." 

Buffy's jaw snapped shut with an audible click. It was creeping her out to have someone inside her head, but at least it wasn't Jacob. He was too busy patting himself on the back for recapturing his precious prize. It occurred to her that if Jinx could hear her thoughts then she should be able to hear Jinx's. Maybe they could find a way out of here without psycho boy knowing what the plan was. As soon as they got one. Reaching out Buffy tried to communicate, she could feel herself easing into Jinx's subconscious. It was like jumping into a tidal wave. Buffy felt like she was drowning, being pulled under by the force of Jinx's mind. Faintly she could here Jinx screaming to her. Pushing towards the sound Buffy latched onto it.

"You stupid twit, you aren't ready for this yet. It takes years of practice to communicate with someone's subconscious mind."

Buffy was getting really tired of the stupid twit comments.

"Willow does it all the time" 

Buffy could feel Jinx sigh.

"She just reads surface thoughts, it is a hell of  a lot easier to converse with the awake part of the brain. She didn't jump head first into my memory bank."

Buffy was mad…. again. She couldn't do anything right where Jinx was concerned. So she didn't know how to read minds, big deal, she could bench press 400 pounds and she was damn sure miss holier than thou couldn't do that.

" And I know your reading that thought and you can just….. Well you can shove it where the sun don't shine."

Buffy took a steadying breath, she needed to calm down and think logically. Starting a mental cat fight was not going to get them out of here. 

"Okay so why does he want you so bad? Your not exactly a joy to be around. Maybe it's a ritual or something, does he need your powers to open some hell gate thingy."

The sarcasm in Jinx's voice reverberated through her mind causing Buffy to reel a bit, this mind talking thing was going to take some getting used too.

" You've been on the hellmouth way too long. Not everything is about dark powers and shit, you know."

"So what's it about then, oh all knowing one. Can you hurry up though my arms lost feeling about, oh, 7 HOURS ago."

"It's about love, oh whiny one."

"Oh please, that man isn't in love, he doesn't know the meaning of the word anymore. You screwed that up. He was just a nice sweet guy until you came along and now look at him"

"I DID NOT SCREW HIM UP. He's just a little obsessed, he can't have me anymore and he is making damn sure no one else does either."

Buffy winced at the tone in Jinx's voice. 

"Sure and I'm the one in denial. He loved you Jinx and you threw it in his face by falling for Spike"

Buffy could feel Jinx's mind sputtering in disagreement. 

"I did not fall for Spike, just cause some of us have issues with the vampire doesn't mean we all have to go ga-ga when he walks in a room."

"But Jacob said-"

"Oh Jacob wouldn't know his ass from a whole in the ground. He never listened to me. When I got back I told him I had seen what real love was not that I had fallen in love. Stuff with us is complicated. I loved him, I really did, in my own way. It was never the whole over the moon kind of thing though. He was my safety net, my port in the storm. Whenever life got too hard I could run to Jacob and he would make it all better. But I saw something between Spike and Dru. Something I wanted. It just wasn't enough to only half-way care. I wanted to feel it all. So I told Jacob I wouldn't be coming back. As you can see he didn't take it well. "  

"So let me get this straight. I am chained to a fucking wall, probably going to die, again, because you can't manage your love life. Somehow I am vaguely disappointed ."

"Look, he's probably going to let you go. I mean he doesn't want you anyway."

"Yah that seems to be going around lately" Buffy was starting to get that wallow in self pity vibe again. At the incredulous look on Jinx's face she stamped the emotion down, or tried too.  She couldn't get the image of Jinx and Spike out of her head.

" As much as I would like to ride your ass about that particular little moment, this is not the time. You all moody and depressed is not helpful right now, so I am going to just say it like it is. Spike loves you, not me. And whether you admit it to yourself or not, you love him. Love isn't all pretty packages and sentimental garbage. It's messy and it's hard. It's about time you got that through your head, because if you don't, sooner or later you going to end up in the same place as me."

"Spike would never kidnap me and chain me to a wall. Well okay he did, but that was before and…….."

The full impact of her situation finally dawned on Buffy. She could feel hysterical laughter start to bubble up from the pit of her stomach. This could be her future. During her little jaunt through Jinx's mind she had seen everything. She saw how much Jacob had loved her and she had seen how scared of that love Jinx really was. Jinx wanted more and she couldn't get it with him. She wanted what Buffy wanted to feel something, to feel love. Jinx had shoved him away and he had done the only thing he could think of to stop her from leaving him. It was sick and disturbing but Buffy understood now what had turned the gentle loving man she had first glimpsed into the monster he had become. That could happen to Spike, hell he had already been that. It wasn't the chip that was stopping him, it was his love for her. Even when she had died, he was still there for her friends. Because of love, something that she had thrown in his face time and time again. But he was still there, waiting for her to realize that what she felt for him was more than just lust. 

Buffy shook her head. Apparently she was entitled to more than one epiphany a month. So he really did love her, she couldn't deny that anymore. But what did she feel for him.

"You love him, you brainless wonder. God why the hell do you have to make everything so difficult. Quit analyzing, start feeling."

Buffy jumped. She had to get that girl out of her head.

"Like your one to talk. If you had just fessed up to your  real feelings in the first place instead of using Jacob we wouldn't be in this boat, now would we." She sneered

'Well live and learn, kiddo. So in all your ramblings did you think of a way to get us out of here"

"Well actually….."

Buffy's  never got to finish her sentence, because at that moment, what once had been an impenetrable rock face had opened up to reveal a very pissed off vampire and a floating witch. 

Buffy and Jinx's thoughts for once were in perfect sync.

"Cool!!"


	9. 

________________________________________________________________________

_Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
Closer where I started  
Chasing after you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_____________________________________________________________________________

Willow peered through the opening. She couldn't believe she had done it. Searching the inner recesses of the cave she  found Buffy and Jinx chained to a wall. Jacob was just staring at them in shock.

'Hmmm, don't mess with a witch there bucko."

She realized Spike was trying to rip the chains off Buffy's wrists  and feet , it wouldn't be long before Jacob saw what he was doing. Willow focused herself and tried to send a bolt of energy at Jacob. She knew it wasn't going to be  very effective, it was taking almost everything she had to keep herself levitated, but she couldn't stand on her broken legs. Hoping the jolt would keep him distracted for a little bit longer, Willow sent an arch of white light flowing towards him.

She hadn't counted on a wall of fire to spring up in front of him, so it was more than a shock when the energy meant for him bounced back and sent her crashing to the ground, snapping even more bones in her already mutilated legs.  This was not of the good. 

Crawling to the edge of the entrance Willow watched in horror as Jacob  set up a ring of fire around Buffy and Jinx, trapping Spike against the wall with the girls. She could hear Buffy screaming for Spike as the inferno surrounding them started to creep closer.

What was up with that. Buffy was screaming and crying for…..Spike. The young witch shook her head deciding it was just the height of the moment. 

Just as Willow was sure that Spike was about to become a torch, the flames suddenly disappeared.  Jacob was charging towards Spike with death on his face. She wasn't the only one who had heard Buffy screaming Spike's name. 

Grabbing the back of Spike's  neck Jacob shoved Spike's face up against Jinx's. Willow could hear the fury streaming from his voice.

"This is Spike!! You brought Spike here. You conniving little slut. I turn my back for one second and you are whoring around with this vampire again. Why, baby? I could have given you the world. Why would you leave me for a filthy little nothing like this"

Willow could have told him that Spike didn't take to getting pushed around to well, or insulted for that matter,  unless it was Buffy. 

She watched as Spike, in game face, reached around and caught Jacob's neck  slamming him against the wall. She could hear the venom radiating from Spike's voice.

"She doesn't want you mate, She never did. "

"What and she wants you, Your not good enough for her. Your beneath her."

Willow squeezed her eyes shut at the echo of Buffy's words coming from Jacob's mouth. This was not going to be pretty.

" She never seemed to mind too much when I was shagging her raw."

At Spike's words Willow's eyes popped open.

 'Oooh good one spike" she quietly congratulated. " Now get us the hell out of here"

Apparently Spike heard her cause he was driving his fists into Jacobs stomach and face. She started to wonder how he did that without the major migraine, until she realized that Jacob was probably like Jinx , human but with enough other stuff to confuse the chip. For his part Jacob was starting fires left,  right and center and she was pretty sure the roof was going to cave in any second.

A strong right cross had Jacob slumping down against the wall and Willow watched as Spike tried to remove Buffy's chains. It was with a growing sense of dread that had Willow calling out to them to hurry. The small fires Jacob had started  were turning into one big one and it was headed right for the struggling people against the wall. An idea  occurred to her, Jinx controlled water. Gathering up her breath Willow let loose her voice echoing loudly in the confines of the cave. 

"You have to free Jinx she can stop the fire" Willow screamed

Willow stared worriedly at Spike and  a now unchained Buffy. Hurry up, Hurry up, she silently urged.  The fires were getting closer to them and rock was crashing down everywhere. They were having trouble getting the cuffs off Jinx  and she was just crying hysterically babbling about  how sorry she was. Willow wasn't sure who she was talking to but it might have been an unconscious Jacob. The girl was losing it. If she didn't do something soon they were going to be trapped.

Finally the bonds loosened and Jinx slumped to the floor. Willow could hear Buffy screaming at her and saw Spike  shaking the incoherent girl. 

"Get up!! You have to do this. We are going to die if you don't. Get up you lazy bitch"

The bitch part seemed to work cause Jinx's head shot up and she was glaring at Buffy. Without altering her gaze Jinx waved her hand in the air and water poured down from the ceiling. The water seemed to cool the rage in Jinx. As soon as it hit her face, she started crying again. Willow strained to hear what she was saying.

"  I didn't mean for this to happen. You didn't know him before. He wasn't like this. This is my fault"

Willow watched in amazement as the girl she had thought was tough as nails crawled over to an unconscious Jacob and curled up in his lap crying. 

A sense of dread crept over Willow when she saw Jacob's hand move to smooth back Jinx's hair. He had a demented look on his face and he had started to jabber.

"It's okay Baby. I'll make it all right. Just like always. We will be together forever."

Buffy and Spike had turned away from the display and started towards her. It was only Willow who saw Jinx clawing at Jacob's hands as he tried to choke the life from her.

"Buffy" Willow screamed pointing frantically behind them. 

Turning they saw Jinx slip into unconsciousness. Within seconds Buffy was ripping Jinx from Jacob's grip and Spike had him by the throat. 

"She's mine" Jacob shrieked "I'll never let her go"

Willow watched the undercurrent of emotions flowing between the slayer and vampire. They were staring at each other, silently trying to come to a decision. It took a minute for Willow to realize what was happening. The only way Jinx or the rest of them were going to be safe from Jacob was if he was dead. Buffy couldn't do it, he was still a human essentially.

Willow stared at Spike. What was he waiting for. He could kill this guy. There was blood and stuff. Why all the hesitation. Switching her gaze to Buffy, Willow discovered why. Spike was waiting for Buffy's to say something.  

Comprehension dawned slowly on the young witch.

'He's waiting for Buffy to say it's okay. Spike won't kill him if it will hurt Buffy. Maybe he really does love her. The old Spike never would have waited for her approval. If she let him do that it would be like giving him permission to just go off and kill anybody. Well maybe not anybody, the chip thing, but he could sure hurt someone. It would have to mean something if she let this happen. It would mean she trusts him. It would mean she lov…..No it wouldn't mean that……would it?'

Willows mental wander was broke off as the pair seemed to come a decision.  She saw the tiny nod of Buffy's head, before Spike sunk his fangs in and tore out Jacobs throat. 

Ducking her head away from the sight Willow hoped to hell Buffy knew what she was doing. That decision was not going to be easy for any  of them to live with. 

The next few moments  all seemed to happen in slow motion. She saw Jacobs lifeless body fall to the ground and saw Spike reach out to pull Buffy against him. She saw Jinx sink down next to Jacob and pull his head in her lap, crying and stroking his hair. She also saw the first big chunk of rock from the mini avalanche Jacob had set off come crashing to the ground. 

Next thing she knew she was being hoisted into Spikes arms and they were rushing out of the swiftly collapsing tunnels. Buffy was dragging Jinx along behind them.  The sound of the girls sobbing was sending unwelcome shivers down her spine. 

Spike didn't stop once they had reached the safety of the park the tunnels led out to, she heard him mutter something about a hospital. And it was with a sense of relief that she realized it was okay to pass out now, the pain in her body was excruciating. Glancing over her shoulder she searched out Buffy, but encountered Jinx instead. The girl was clinging to a boulder that had blocked the entrance to the tunnels and crying hysterically. Buffy was trying to pull her away but apparently slayer strength was no match for grief. Willow watched Buffy give up and follow after them, they were safe, for the moment. But the actions of today were going to haunt them all for a long time to come. It was that thought that followed her into unconsciousness.


	10. 

_Maybe I'm a drifter_
    
    _Late at night_
    
    _'Cause I long for the safety_
    
    _Of flowing freely_
    
    _In your arms_
    
    _I don't need another lover_
    
    _It's not for me_
    
    _'Cause only you can save me_
    
    _Oh can't you see_
    
    _I can't imagine life_
    
    _Without your love_
    
    _And even forever don't seem_
    
    _Like long enough_

________________________________________________________________________

Buffy watched Spike stalk around the crypt, packing.

 He had stayed at the hospital long enough to make sure her and Willow were okay and then taken off. Buffy had stayed with Willow while the doctors set her legs, she was going to be in a wheelchair for a while but there would be no permanent damage. If it hadn't been for Willow she wasn't sure she would have come here. Buffy was originally going to go find Jinx and force her away from the caves, even if she had to kick her ass all the way home to do it. But Willow was having none of it, she had informed Buffy that Jinx was a big girl fully capable of dealing with her own problems and that it was about time Buffy started to face hers. 

So here she was watching an irate vampire packing up his meager possessions. Yet another man preparing to walk out of her life.  

She knew why she was here, she knew she had to tell him once and for all how she felt. She had known the night in the house, she just hadn't been ready to face it. 

She had woken up ,originally, a few hours before dawn, wrapped in his arms. She hadn't run for her clothes then. She had watched him sleep, absently brushing his hair off his face. He had been exhausted, and she remembered wondering how he could look so peaceful and quiet when the awake reality of Spike was entirely different. It had always been all or nothing for him and she envied him that. She knew that in order to feel everything she had been missing she had to have that, all or nothing.

He hadn't  been awake for the moment he had been pushing her towards since she came back. The moment when she  finally gave in and cried over all the people  she had lost in her short life, including herself. The moment when her heart had finally let go of it's memories and started to heal. 

She had accepted being back that night, accepted being alive. And she had accepted that nothing about her life was ever going to be the same again. 

He hadn't seen any of it.

So he didn't know that first time she woke up  that she had curled up in his arms and had let the peace and love she felt guide her back to sleep. She had almost given in the second time she woke up. But she couldn't, one epiphany a month was more than enough.  It hadn't been disgust or convenience that drove her out of there the next day. No matter what she had spit at him. Buffy knew the real reason. Fear. Plain old unadulterated terror. 

This vampire, no this man, packing his things had all the power. He just didn't know it yet. The power to break her . If she let him in he could destroy her but if she didn't he would leave and that would definitely break her heart before she had given it a chance. 

'Well fuck that!'

"Just what do you think your doing?" she screeched at him

Spike didn't even pause in his efforts. Shoving yet another black shirt into a bulging duffel bag he ignored her tone and answered her question.

"I'm packing, slayer. What the bloody hell does it look like I'm doing?"

" I can see that Spike. What I want to know is why?"

"You know why, luv. This thing between us, it's not good. Sooner or later it's going to destroy one of us, and I am not going to let that be you."

Buffy sank down on the edge of the bed. It was now or never. 

"You're right it's not good. It's scary and it's messy. That's the point. If this was easy do you think we would feel so strongly about each other."

Spike didn't answer, he just looked stunned, so she answered for him.

"No we wouldn't."

Reaching for his hand she pulled him down beside her. Staring into his incredible blue eyes, Buffy gave him everything in her heart.  

" I know you love me. I know I am willing to try and find out where this dance is leading us. I don't want pretty and sweet anymore. I want messy and unpredictable. I want the fighting and the screaming and the making up, lots of the making up. I want you, fangs and all. I love you."

"No you don't slayer. Your just all messed up right now. What with the near death thing and all. Trust me on this  go home, take a nap and you'll  be glad I'm gone by tomorrow."

Buffy felt like someone had punched her in the face. Here she was pouring her heart out and he was telling her she didn't mean it. He should be jumping up and down, kissing her, going on about his undying love and devotion. The least he could have done was smile. But no he had to go and tell her to take a nap. Buffy could feel her fingers start to tingle, there was only one way she was going to get through to him. Pulling her arm back Buffy let fly.

Standing over him a few seconds later she watched him clutching his bloody nose.

" A NAP!!! I tell you I love you and you think I should take a nap. You know Spike if this is the way you treat all women it's a wonder you ever get laid"

Spike sprang to his feet and pinned Buffy beneath him on the bed.

" I have never had a problem finding a good shag, luv. You should know."

Buffy stared up into his smirking face. Well at least she had him where she wanted him. Shifting her hips she made sure Spike was aware of their position. 

"Now that's not playing fair, pet. If all you wanted was another taste you could have just asked. You didn't have to pretend you felt something you don't. I like your plan though, one more for the road"

Buffy shoved him off. He didn't believe her. All the sleepless nights, all the hours of self -assessment and he didn't believe her. What the hell did he want, she had stood by and let him kill someone. How much more believable was she supposed to get. This was ridiculous. If he wasn't going to listen to her maybe she should beat him into the ground then he would have to listen.

Buffy searched the room for the vampire, preparing to swing. What she saw brought her up short. Spike was trying to light a cigarette but his hands were shaking too bad to accomplish it. 

'He's scared' she thought 'Of the same thing I am, he's scared I'm going to hurt him. All this crap was because he was pushing me away, just like I did to him.'

Crossing the room Buffy took Spikes trembling hands in hers. She gently leaned in and placed small kisses across his knuckles. Reaching up she ran her hand down his cheek . Marveling at the intensity of his gaze. 

"It's okay Spike, we'll figure this out together. I don't know what happens next either."

" Buffy, I-"

Buffy placed her fingers on his mouth effectively stopping his denials. They could figure out the details later. Her friends, her sister, her life would all have to wait. Right now she had something to prove. Taking his arm she pulled him down on the bed. Actions always spoke louder than words.  


	11. 

_Tears form behind my eyes_

_ but I do not cry_

_Counting the days that pass me by_

_I've been searching deep down in my soul_

_Words that I'm hearing_

_Are starting to get old_

_Feels like I'm starting all over again_

_The last three years _

_Were just pretend_

_And I say_

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything that I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that_

_I tried to hold on to._

________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinx rolled over and peered into the night sky, she had been lying on the ground for hours. Pulling herself up to her knees she took in her surroundings. Everything was the same, but everything was completely different. 

"I'm so sorry Jacob" she cried " I didn't mean to hurt you. I never meant for this to happen. This was all my fault. If I had just seen what I was doing to you, I would have stopped it…….I would have."

 Jinx curled into a ball on the grass. She didn't know what to do now. Before she had always had Jacob to sort out the jumble that was her mind. She would blaze in broken and depressed from whatever situation she had managed to get herself into and he had always put her back together, good as new. Until the next time. She was a mess. 

"Why didn't I know Jacob? You knew me best. Why didn't you tell me. Why did you have to die before I realized how I really felt."

Jinx laughed at herself. He had told her. Over and over. It was his methods that left something to be desired. 

"What were you thinking? You knew better. Chaining me up is not the way to get me to see something"

Jinx glanced around the empty night surrounding her. She was getting mad.  Standing up ,arms spread wide, she screamed her frustrations to a dead man.

"I never asked you to love me, you know.  You did that on your own. I would have figured this all out. I'm not stupid. But did you give me the chance. NO. You just pick me up and drag me off and expect me to just go with the flow. WELL I DON'T GO WITH THE FLOW. So where did all your brilliant plans get us, Jacob .  I get stuck in a piss ant little town and you end up dead. Some plan. So ,oh wise one, what now. What the fuck am I supposed to do now. "

Jinx stopped and stared up into the stars. She was alone, for the first time in centuries she was utterly and completely alone. At a loss she stumbled towards the street. 

It was a good six blocks before she realized the direction she was heading. She was going to Buffy's. Slumping down on the curb she buried her face in her knees.

"Okay Jinx think here. What are you doing? Buffy is an annoying little twit, who really doesn't like you. You should just find the nearest bus and get the hell out of here"

"To where?' a little voice in the back of her mind mocked "You have nowhere to go, all you have left is Buffy."

The truth sucked. On the upside Buffy had saved her life, that was  something….right. Besides she got a certain amount of enjoyment out of pissing the slayer off. And there were any number of ways she could accomplish that. Starting with what Buffy had actually come back as.

It had taken Jinx about two seconds to solve that little riddle. Buffy hadn't come back 'wrong'. The original slayer was supposed to be one of her people, with all their powers along with the strength.  Somewhere in the cosmic shuffle of putting her back in her body an old wrong had been righted. Buffy wasn't going to be too pleased to know she had more in common with Jinx than just bed partners.

Jinx limped to her feet, laying out her plans.  First she had to get to Buffy's, then she had to take a long nap. Everything else could wait for later.

" She's probably not home anyway" Jinx told a nearby fire hydrant " If the girl has half a brain  in her head she's off shagging her local vampire. And as much as I hate to admit it she'd not stupid"

Grimacing at her own admission she stomped off down the street. 

"Well she's a little stupid, I never would have slept with Angel after he had a soul. But it sure was a hell of a lot of fun before he had one. 

The End

(This is not really the end , it's the beginning of the next part, which will be finished soon ) 


End file.
